Still No Attempt To Reach For My Wife Or Myself

The following is a writing by my wife that she wanted posted on here. She also asked that I comment on it and why it was written. That will be found after her writing.

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I'm just so very angry and sad right now. I'm angry at the people who profess to love God, but then turn their backs. I'm angry that the pastor I loved, respected, and obeyed turned his back on me when I needed his counsel(1) most. Also even though none of my fellow saints were not directly told to avoid or shun me, it had been implied many times over the pulpit. I can't even be considered one of the lost they claim they are desperately trying to save. I am "backslid", and going to burn, unless I beg forgiveness of my "pastor".

Mat 18:12. How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray?
13. And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that [sheep], than of the ninety and nine which went not astray.

It is much easier for them to sit on their spiritual high horses, and poke fun....(cause Jesus did that all the time), than to actually admit that they might be wrong, or not have the answers.

I may not be right, but I am unwilling to be spoon fed twisted teachings from a church who expects strict compliance to standards of a man. I am not satisfied to be told that I don't have enough of a prayer life, or faith, or spiritualness because I come with questions that appear to be contrary to the UPC's doctrine. At least the writer of this blog is doing some homework, and coming up with some answers. That is more than I can say for the limp wristed attempt of a so-called “pastor” who in my opinion did nothing more than tuck tail and run.


(Editor's note: I made the following change to the above - (1) changed "council" to "counsel". The rest is the writing of my wife in it's entirety.)
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My wife and I left a UPCI congregation in May of 2009. I have posted on that previously, and am not going into the details that caused it here. However, my wife has gone through much more than I since the break, as I was preparing for it far earlier than she was. It's true that she left of her own choice, and, in her words: "Because I won't sit and listen to all the crap they will say about you after you leave".

I had of course informed her I was leaving, and why. As well, I agreed to stay until after a women's conference she wanted to attend, and so we set the date a little later than my original intentions of mid-April. However, it was the women's conference that cemented in her the desire to leave. Two things occurred that caused this: first, all the men in the church were repeatedly told over the pulpit that this was a girl's trip only, no men. That was no issue until my wife found out that the very man making those pronouncements had intended to drive the van the women were taking down to the conference. The intentions were no doubt honourable, but definitely not in line with what the rest of us were being told. She was a little perturbed by that.

The second thing that happened was that at the conference, a woman got up and spent most of a service teaching on UPCI standards of holiness and separation. Bear in mind that this was an audience comprised of 99.9999% UPCI women that already knew the standards and lived them in all the self-righteous arrogance that the UPCI is known for. My wife said there was one visitor she noticed that was obviously not UPCI as the attire she was in was not what would be normally observed in such a setting. It was this that really offended my wife. Here they are, all proud of their standards and how much God loves them because of their standards, and a lady in the crowd is totally out of place and being forced to see it. How christian of them.

Of course, this was what caused my wife to leave. What has caused her to stay away, is outlined in the paragraphs she wrote above. Since leaving, she has witnessed (from a distance) the exact behavior she knew would come. She found some videos on Facebook that apparently make fun of me and my blog. Instead of showing compassion and reaching for her, the members and leadership of that cult have distanced themselves, ignored her, and ridiculed everything she and I have discovered about the truth. This was precisely what I told her would happen, and I pointed her in the direction of a website (spiritualabuse.org) that specifically deals with people leaving the legalism and works-based Salvation of the UPCI.

She finally had enough and decided she wanted to "rant" a little. So she did. Her goal, as expressed to me, is to make a statement, to vent, and to possibly help someone else that goes through the same deal someday. Her hope is that others will someday see that there is a better life available to those that trust in God....which leads directly into the post I was planning on doing today.

God Bless You